Wedding bells disrupted by culture clash

By: Miss Lonelyhearts Posted: 4:00 AM CDT Friday, May. 17, 2019

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I fell in love with a man from a different country and culture. He’s darker brown-skinned and I am very light brown. We moved to Canada with our parents many years ago. We met in university and plan to marry, but are encountering problems from the relatives.

Read this article for free:

or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

Read unlimited articles for free today:

or

Already have an account? Log in here »

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 17/05/2019 (2694 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

I came here as a young teenager. Because I was so depressed at first, my parents were not unhappy with my few boyfriends in high school — very innocent friendships (and chaperoned).

My new man was brought up in Canada and our relationship is loving and very serious. He’s a very nice man, well-educated with a good job. He is kind and charming in a sincere way, and a little older than me.

My parents like him and have accepted him, but some of our relatives — particularly the aunties — have banded together and have been very nasty to my mother about our intention to marry. These nosy aunties are telling my parents every chance they get that I should marry within our culture and keep the bloodlines pure, even though we are removed from our land of origin. I am broken-hearted they’re giving my family a really bad time. What can I do?

— Wanting Harassment To Stop, Winnipeg

Dear Wanting: Your mistake is in leaving your parents to face the fire alone. You must stand up for yourself and your man and your decision as a grown woman.

You and your guy should pay a “friendly” surprise visit to each of your aunties. Introduce your man and let them get to know him a bit. Initiate a talk with them about your decision to marry. Let them know their protests are useless and hurting their relationships with you and your parents.

When they see the marriage is going ahead and your guy is a nice man, their voices will become less loud (especially if they want to be invited to the wedding). Set a date if the two of you are 100 per cent committed, and make it known that the wedding is a done deal.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is only in her 30s, but had to get dentures. They were cheap and badly made, and you can hear them slip and click when she talks. When I offer to pay for new ones, she says she’s “just fine” with the ones she’s got and tells me to shut my “big mouth.”

It’s a major turnoff sexually, but I have never said that to her face.

How can I get her to fix this without turning this into World War III? I mentioned it a month ago, and she didn’t speak to me for a whole week.

— Big Bad Critic, Winnipeg

Dear Big Bad Critic: I get that it’s a turnoff, but don’t tell her that as it’s a very sensitive issue. Before you dare speak of this again, you need to do some rigorous research on denturists in the city.

Don’t utter one more word of criticism until you have a ready solution to offer — an excellent denturist with recommendations from people you know. Plus, you need the money in hand to back up this gift. Then gently introduce the problem again and a solution she can follow up on any time. Good luck.

Please send your comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Read full biography

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.