Battery-powered competition has husband buzzing mad

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This article was published 16/05/2019 (2693 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife recently bought a vibrator, which I have been finding on the bed when I get home from work. I take this as an insult. Last night, I said, “Well, I guess my work here is done!”

She just shrugged and went back to watching television. A lot of things like that irritate me about her, but especially that vibrator, which must be smokin’ every afternoon.

— Disgusted Husband, Fort Garry

Dear Disgusted: It’s hard to compete in an endurance race when your competitor runs on batteries. And it makes for bad feelings.

After finding evidence of her afternoon activities, you certainly don’t feel like loving her, romancing her, bringing her flowers or being affectionate, loving and sexy — not to mention engaging in intimate, body-to-body lovemaking.

You two need to talk about the distance this is causing, and if there is underlying resentment that makes her so mad she’s deliberately taunting you.

If you can work out the problems, maybe you can use the vibrator together sometimes to get each other to a fever pitch. Then huck it off the bed for the grand finale!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in love with a short man at work, but he won’t engage with me when I talk to him in a flirtatious way. I even told him, “I love short men because we can dance so close together.” That’s a pretty good hint, isn’t it? Still he’s businesslike with me.

I know he doesn’t have a girlfriend. What’s his problem?

— Confused By Short Guy, Broadway

Dear Confused: Maybe your compatible height has nothing to do with why he’s not paying you any attention. Perhaps you aren’t his personality type and you’re getting on his nerves with comments that imply his shortness is a problem for other women.

Also, madam, you work together! This guy has given you strong hints to back off and you need to respect him. If you don’t, you’ll be flirting with a sexual harassment charge.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have this casual online girlfriend (one of three) who doesn’t pick up my Facebook messages for up to 24 hours. I know she has seen them when they arrive because I’ve heard her mention it. If she messages me, I give her at least a few words back, as a courtesy. Should I start ignoring her messages for 24 hours as a tit-for-tat?

— Feeling Insulted, North End

Dear Insulted: She probably won’t notice. Instead, tell her you wonder why she doesn’t read your messages and respond with even a word or two when she hears a message. If she tells you she’s too busy, look at getting busier with your other girlfriends who are more attentive.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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