Activist bad match for girl who doesn’t care

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This article was published 22/05/2019 (2694 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend is an environmentalist and animal activist. I pretend to care, but I don’t.

He wants me to join him in all his activities to save the planet, and I’m so tired from working as an accountant, I just want to enjoy my downtime or do some fun activities with him after work.

At first, I found him dead sexy with all his passions and noble causes. Now, I feel like I’m one of the species not being cared about in his world.

And he’s so sanctimonious! Yesterday, he was talking about people who don’t seem to care like they were vermin. If he knew how little I care at this point, he’d think I was vermin.

When I tried telling him on the phone he’s “too good” for me, he turned on the charm and I melted. He is the sexiest man on two legs and I have never had such a great time between the sheets.

But then he went back to talking about organizing his next protest. Help! —Uncaring Numbers Girl, Downtown

Dear Uncaring: Time to move on! There are more people out there who don’t care about issues than do, and some of them are drop-dead sexy. 

Accept that you two are not a match, except for the sex. He’s hungry for his real passion — saving the world — and you’re just a side dish.

Say bye-bye, wish him luck in all his causes — some of which will benefit you — and look for someone more like yourself.

Maybe there are some sexy accountants like you recovering from the tax deadline and looking for a new passion.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Racism is a problem in my workplace and I feel sick about it. These guys laugh at people and say the grossest stuff all the time.

But I feel if I told them off, they’d all jump on me and treat me like garbage.

The other day, one guy was talking to an Indigenous guy totally normally. Then, when they finished, he turned around to us and mimed the hand hitting the mouth thing (like whooping from old cowboys-and-Indians movies).

The group laughed and I just stood there, looking upset. One guy called me a “snowflake,” implying I was a wuss and couldn’t deal with a little “making fun.”

He’s a scary dude. I need this job through the summer. How do I make it?—Needing the Work, Winnipeg

Dear Needing the Work: These racists are already calling you “snowflake,” so it’s understandable why it’s hard for you to stand up to them and become their new target. But naturally it makes you feel sick to remain silent and go along with this garbage. 

If you are in a place big enough to have a human-resources department, talk to them privately and see if they can handle this.

If it’s a small place, just start a work search. You feel you need this summer job, but you’re in a poisonous environment.

It may mean getting two part-time jobs at places where you can at least work in respectful environments.

Make sure you request an exit interview and tell your boss why you looked for work elsewhere.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have an online girlfriend I’ve visited in person and we became very close. When we returned home we’d talk twice a day, and more on the weekends.

Things have suddenly slowed down. I used to live by the adage, “If someone wants distance, give them plenty of it,” but I don’t know if that’s right in this case.

Should I just ask her why she’s not phoning as much? I don’t want to sound like a… —Whiny Wuss, Selkirk 

Dear Wuss: “How can I miss you if you won’t go away?” is a goofy line from an old country song, but there is great wisdom in it.

Give this woman a chance to miss you. Don’t call her again until she calls you. If you don’t hear from her in a week, ask her why. This may be the end, my friend.

Long-distance passion is hard to maintain, absent any warm, in-person contact. 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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