Long-lost cousins looking to reconnect

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 21/05/2019 (2690 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’ve always been interested in family history, and this has been quite the year. One fairly close relative, who got around a lot back in the day, got a few women pregnant. Now a few distant girl cousins have popped up and sought us out in Ontario and Manitoba. We all have the family nose and shades of reddish hair.

I have enjoyed the experience of meeting them, and wonder if any others will visit me. I work in a fairly public place so it’s easy to find me. What do I owe these people in terms of socializing and introducing them to the rest of our very big family?

The man who sired these adult children is dead and gone. It turns out this good-looking Don Juan character didn’t support the condom industry, or give a penny to the women who mothered these kids. Other men married their mothers and acted as their dads. Everybody’s pretty much French Catholic in our extended family, and so were the women this man got pregnant, so they continued their pregnancies.

So far, I’ve just had one long visit over drinks with each one that has turned up. I showed them some pictures and looked at theirs.

So what else do I owe them in terms of socializing? Do they now get invited to weddings and reunions and such, or do they deserve more than that?

— Distant Cousin, Winnipeg

Dear Distant Cousin: It depends on how much socializing they want to exchange between families. Maybe one long visit with questions answered and photos is all that they want. Or you may find you have a lot of things in common and want to become friends and meet their extended families. It would make sense to invite them to a big family party — not necessarily in their honour — and introduce them to everybody.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m interested in opening a business, but I’m afraid of getting ripped off. I have an opportunity to invest with a few guys I met in university and I don’t know them all that well. We all seem really excited about the idea. I think there’s huge potential in this, but I’m worried about losing my savings.

I wasn’t a business student in school, but both of these guys were, and they know all the little tricks.

I want to stand up tall to these guys when we have meetings, not be confrontational, but they know I don’t have the same experience they do.

How can I present myself as an honest person who won’t be moved?

— Curious But Cautious, St. James

Dear Curious: You need a small team of personal advisers so you can take planning papers and projections to them to look over. Take notes at meetings, and ask your advisers if the plan sounds strong or weak, or if it has a few holes that could be addressed and filled.

Don’t be afraid to argue with these guys — they’ll be less likely to gloss over things.

Although they may make big profit projections, remember that many promising businesses fail.

You might not want to be a major investor right away if business is not your thing.

If anybody seems less than honest or wants to cut corners, just back off and wish them the best.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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