Wife’s muttering reveals truth about relationship

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This article was published 25/10/2017 (3261 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife talks to herself and doesn’t realize she does it. Last Saturday night, we had sex as we usually do and as she was walking out of the room she muttered, “Well, that’s done for another week.”

I told her I heard that and she insisted she didn’t say anything. She asked if I was a mind reader, but I told her what I heard and she blushed. Caught. 

I asked if she really felt that way and she said yes, because I do the exact same thing every week. She called me Mr. Boring. I told her she does nothing but lie there. 

I don’t have to put up with this. I know a woman through my work who likes me a lot, and has told me frankly she would date me in a heartbeat if I were single. Also, our two children are up and gone.

Why am I still with this remnant of my old raising-family life? I stayed with her through thick and thin while the kids were growing up.

Both of our kids live on the East Coast and that’s where my wife would like to live, but I love my work too much. What do you think I should do? — Not Boring, Transcona

Dear Not Boring: Forget about Saturday night duty: find a reputable counsellor and suggest to your wife you go for a visit. If she won’t go, tell her you’re going anyway because there’s no time to waste.

You to need to find out soon if there are buried feelings of love under the anger and resentment, or if you have both grown so disinterested in each other, you wouldn’t be too upset if you did break up.

The opposite of love is not hate; it’s total disinterest. Is this a case of disinterest, or is there anger bubbling underneath on both sides that needs to come up and get sorted out so you can be loving and passionate partners again?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I like a local shop owner, and I keep going into her shop. I wonder if I’m making a nuisance of myself. Should I tell her outright I want to take her out to dinner? Should I assure her I won’t be back to bother her if she says no?

I feel like a bit of a stalker going in there all the time, but I’m not a cheapskate. This is costing me a bundle. I’ve bought a lot of gifts as an excuse to see her again. In fact, I have all my Christmas shopping done already and it’s not even November.

Please help me out here. I know she’s single, but am I just making a fool of myself? — Romantic Older Guy, River Heights

Dear Romantic Older Guy: Why don’t you just be honest? When no one else is in the store, say something like this: “You must be wondering why I’m always in here shopping. The truth is, I would like to ask you out to dinner. Would you like to go out to some little spot with me sometime soon?”

If she says yes, don’t set up a date for that night, name a day about three days away so you don’t look desperate.

If she just says a hesitant, “Well, ummmm, maybe,” then get her into a conversation about what kinds of food she likes and stimulate her interest that way.

But, if she says she’s generally quite busy, goes to the gym at suppertime, she has a boyfriend or her cat just died, say goodbye. She’s not interested.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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