Lack of spiritual belief no obstacle to sobriety

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This article was published 10/06/2022 (1252 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I faced the same dilemma as “Drinking Everything but the Kool-Aid.” My urgent desire to be successful in my Alcoholics Anonymous program was in conflict with the “higher power” requirement. I simply could not, in all honesty, fulfil it. (I suggested the writer to check out secular-based meetings now offered by AA. —Miss L.)

When I told my counsellor my dilemma, he asked, “Which is it? You can’t do it or you won’t do it?” When I said, “I can’t,” he immediately said this was no problem. I could pick it up later (as needed). So long as I wanted to succeed with the program, and did everything else, I was OK.

That assurance changed everything. It lifted a huge — and genuine — obstacle from my path to getting and staying sober. It was a defining moment for me, back in September 1985.

— September 1985, Winnipeg

Dear September 1985: Congratulations on your long-lasting sobriety and thanks for taking the time to offer encouragement for someone struggling with alcohol.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I write in reply to “Drinking Everything but the Kool-Aid,” who was asking about local addiction programs that aren’t religious-based.

There’s a local group called SOS (which they say can stand for both Secular Organizations for Sobriety or Save Our Selves). Go to winnipegsos.com for more information. They offer one or two meetings per week.

— K., Winnipeg

Dear K.: Thanks for the suggestion. The SOS website clearly expresses their secular philosophy, with a list of online and in-person meetings and many other excellent local resources.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I read your advice to “Drinking Everything but the Kool-Aid,” and have a couple of insights which may be of value.

Firstly, one of the founders of AA was agnostic, if not atheist, yet managed to gain sobriety and remain sober within the movement. It may surprise you and your inquirer, but many of those in recovery are or were atheist or agnostic and the AA philosophy allows for that.

The term “higher power” can refer to one’s relationship with the wisdom of the recovery group or even begin with a relationship with a mentor in the group.

My background is some 40-plus years working for the Addictions Foundation of Manitoba, and in private practice. I have seen many struggle with this issue.

Please send questions, comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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