Break the spell, find someone new

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 11/06/2020 (2245 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’ve been falling for a Wiccan girl, and my parents brought me up Roman Catholic. She’s pretty and the sex is beyond great, but she’s into some pretty unusual stuff, and I feel uncomfortable about her stranger beliefs. (She isn’t just a nature worshipper.)

She doesn’t even want to hear five minutes about anything religious from me. I don’t talk about it much anyway, but now it seems forbidden, judging from the look she gets on her face.

Here’s the unfair part: she can’t get off the Wicca subject! It’s like she’s trying to make a convert of me. Not happening! I get fed up with it, and with her, and am about to walk away from the relationship… but then she pulls me back to her in bed. I am so weak. I want her so much sexually — just not all the advance preaching, which seems to be the price of admission these days.

— Brought Up Catholic, Winnipeg

Dear Brought Up Catholic: Good news! Your present girlfriend is not the only show in town. There are hundreds of attractive women in Manitoba. Also, most healthy, happy, grown-up women enjoy good lovemaking.

If you and your Wiccan girlfriend can’t see eye-to-eye and are constantly running into troubles over conflicting religious beliefs, why get in deeper? Conflicting religions often make for marriage struggles, especially when there are children to bring up.

You could easily find a partner who is more like you spiritually. Give it a try.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I found some money in my pocket that I don’t remember having. I don’t want to tell my roommate because she’ll insist we split it. It’s close to $50. We both work for tips and you’d think I’d know if I had an extra 50 bucks. Am I losing my mind?

Maybe somebody from work is missing the money because they put it in my pocket instead of their own. But then, somebody who isn’t very honest might say it’s theirs, and just take it.

— Burning a Hole in My Pocket, Osborne Village

Dear Burning; That $50 is causing you $150 worth of trouble. So ask your roomie if she misplaced some money lately. If she didn’t, ask people at work. If nobody says they’re missing it, split it with your roomie without her asking you to, or give it to charity.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I sat around and ate a lot of crap while staying home because of the coronavirus. I gained 13 pounds, all around my middle, and I also have fat cheeks now. What can I do to get back to normal without starving?  My boyfriend says I look like a chipmunk. I pointed to his own new belly and he just laughed. What should we do now?

— Two Corona Blobs, River Heights

Dear Blobs: Dieting is a big hassle, but swimming is good for the middle section, as is any reaching sport with a racquet or a ball.

Outdoor activities are really in this season, as opposed to sitting around inside sharing everybody’s air.

Instead of eating between meals, get sporty with your honey, and you can shape back up again together and have fun.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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