Help your wife see the beauty you see in her

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This article was published 26/07/2020 (2255 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Readers: I get some beautiful letters. Not everyone is writing to complain about a problem. I’ve noticed people seem more loving and appreciative of each other because of COVID-19. Here are a few recent examples:

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is a beautiful woman of 31, and I love her more every day. Unfortunately, she’s very critical of herself since her two pregnancies.

Whatever things happened to her body after carrying those babies are badges of courage.

She thinks she needs to get her perfect pre-pregnancy body back or it will be a disappointment to me, her husband, who unfortunately happens to be a bodybuilder.

How can I convince her she’s beautiful the way she is, when she’s so sure she’s grown less attractive?

I think she looks like an angel, and the kids and I love her so much. — Admiring Husband, Westwood

Dear Admiring Husband: You might start saying softly, “Hey, beautiful!” whenever you greet her. At first she might scoff at this nickname, but people learn to believe something they hear a lot.

If her brain has been calling herself “fat” or “out of shape” repeatedly, she is unaware she’s programmed by society and magazines. To further help her, give her a sweet card and long list of things you love about her looks, maybe including things like expressive eyes, silky skin, soft hair.

And don’t forget to mention the beautiful characteristics of her personality. She will read it many times now and in years to come. You get the picture? Right now, she needs to learn to see what you see.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new boyfriend, age 29, had heard me complain how nothing but bills come to my mailbox! So he went out and bought me a little treasure chest full of pretend “jewels” in tennis bracelets for my arm — diamonds and rubies. It came by delivery to my mailbox!

Thoughtful, romantic gifts — and he didn’t break the bank — that’s my guy! There was still enough money in his budget to go out for dinner on a (well-distanced) patio, too.

I think this guy is a keeper, don’t you? —Falling In Love, Downtown

Dear Falling: If he treats you like gold the rest of the year, and has good character underneath his obvious charm, he’s got my vote.

And when his birthday comes up, I hope you honour him in a way that feels great to him. I think you might get a chuckle out of the letter below.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m 17 and in love with a goof. The other evening after sunset, he came over to our family’s house with paper signs on long sticks that he held up to my big second-floor bedroom window. They spelled “I LOVE YOU” in big letters.

My mom almost jumped out of her skin when she saw him in the front yard putting up signs! Dad grabbed his phone and ran upstairs and was laughing with me, as they popped up. He was taking a video, of course.

This guy I’ve found is special — nothing ordinary about his heart and creativity. My girlfriends are all jealous. — In Love With a Fun Guy, Wolseley

Dear In Love: There are some very sweet and funny young men in this world — and you have found a special one, who is keeping your life lively.

Of course, there are many other important things to consider, character-wise, but a young man who doesn’t have to be reminded of special days and plans something on his own makes life more exciting for sure!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com  or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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